Sometimes you can't make it on your own
by You'reSoLastSummer
Summary: Hey guys, this is my first ever fanfic...I'm a full-on CLANA addict, and this is my take on season 4 (how it should've been)..yeah, so please R & R, and Enjoy! (summaries are not my thing..)


_Bang. _She slammed her locker shut. If anyone was questioning her current feelings, the reverberating pound of metal-against-metal should have revealed it all. She was pissed off, mad at the world for turning against her. The Smallville High eying her from both sides of the hallway didn't help her mood whatsoever. _People are so dense._

She walked briskly down the hall. Behind her, she could hear snatches of her name among the daily gossip. She knew exactly what they were saying, too: "Lana Lang…drama queen." _Whatever_. Normally, she'd care about what people were saying. Despite Chloe's constant protestations, the student body's opinion of her usually weighed heavily on her self- esteem. But today, she just couldn't give a damn. She turned the corner sharply and ran headlong into a long torso, covered in red flannel. She extracted her face from the folds of the soft material and looked up. His hair was tousled, his face covered with stubble. The look he wore on his face was one of pure concern for her. God, he was beautiful.

"Lana?" She forced herself to look hassled and impatient.

"Clark, I can't talk right now." Why was he still standing there? Why was he still looking at her? She didn't deserve him.

"Are you sure?" he bent down until they were face to face. She closed her eyes.

"Yeah…I just can't talk right now. I'm busy." She could feel him looking at her despite her closed lids.

"Oh…okay. You want to maybe talk about it later? I'm free all night." Her eyes fluttered open. She found them accidently gazing into his. Her first mistake. Her knees felt like giving way underneath her. The color of his eyes were unmatched- only he could pull off that color. They were the greenest possible green, yet at times they could be so blue. Deeper and darker and fuller than Jason's eyes ever were. _Jason. _That brought her back down with an unpleasant bump.

"N-no Clark. I'm really busy. I'll just…see you later or something." She walked away briskly. Her heart was broken, but her pride was still intact. Barely.

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He watched her go, sadly. God, she was beautiful. Even when she was mad. Their brief conversation had left him jittery. He didn't even know why he was still yearning for her- she had wounded him, he had injured her, and they were both hurt because of each other. His mind went back to their conversation. When he had looked at her, was it just his eyes playing tricks on him, or had her face lost its stoic demeanor for an instant? No, no, it must've just been his imagination. But he could've sworn he saw something flicker behind her eyes, too quickly to actually decipher its meaning. _Stop that. It was nothing. _

He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned to leave. _Don't even start. _It was of no use to try and help her, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to take her and hold her, and push all her worries away, but it wasn't his place. He didn't deserve her.

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She flopped down on her bed. That was so uncharacteristic. But being uncharacteristic was a pattern for her these days. She had once prided herself in her honestly, her bluntness, her ability to connect with people. She used to be the true image of grace under pressure. But ever since Paris, she wasn't so sure. So much of her had died when she left Smallville, too much to resurrect upon her return. The Talon; horses; the cemetery; sunsets: they were all part of what she used to love. She missed that. She didn't want to keep ignoring them, but with Jason, she felt she needed to be different. _Jason. _She didn't even know how it ever became so serious. She liked to blame on Paris, on its romance. But she knew that it was just her. She was so vulnerable when she left. Her identity was already blurring at the edges when her acceptance arrived, and leaving for Europe had reduced it to a streak. Sure, the first few weeks were a blast. She was occupied. She didn't have to think about all she had left behind. And she had found Jason. It was nice at first, to have someone to talk to. She was lonely. She missed her life. Jason was there, and he had listened. Somewhere down the line, their friendship had developed into something more. She was reluctant, but she figured it was harmless. _Harmless my ass. _Jason was not the one for her. She was already on her last nerve, and after the Isobel fiasco, well she knew it was her time to go. Truth be told, she was so glad when she got away. Truth be told, she was already in love with someone else.

_He was perfect_. He was sweet and selfless and chivalrous and brave. He was devoted to his family, to his friends. And he was good-looking…he was **so** good-looking…but he never abused it. Clark Kent was insatiable.

They used to be…well, she wasn't sure. They just used to be. He used to be her rock. She used to be his everything. She'd do anything to have that place in his heart once more.

**Author's Note: Well guys, this is the start of my first ever fanfic...I'd appreciate if people replied and stuff...yeah, and suggestions are always welcome. Enjoy! > Jules**


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